Sauerkraut Cookie Romance
by Keiraun
Summary: Norris/Sprigg. How does Riddel get all those guys? With a bad element grid, Sprigg has to having something going for her. Slathered with Kirge references, though Kirge fans might be slightly offended. PG for references to Norris being hot...


  
  
  
  
  
  


**Sauerkraut Cookie Romance**   
_By Zell's Girl_   
_Special Thanks To-_   
_Delita-chan for the idea_   
_Prnce Champagne for editing_   
_Enjoy! NOW!_   
------------------------------------ 

Once upon a time in the days after Serge became a non-cat man again but before he defeated the time devourer, there was a very scarily handsome Porre soldier named Norris. Not only was Norris a hot chunk of man, he was a kind and sweet commander. He was loyal, polite, courteous… 

As the cosmic hand strikes me, I know it is my time to stop swooning and continue the story. One day, our loyal commander Norris went with Serge and Sprigg to the Hydra Marshes. As the heroes and the ugly old thing encroached on the entrance, Kid popped up out of no where. 

Serge stared at he blankly and let out an exasperated sigh. He shot her a 'what now?' look. "Serge, tell me you love me!" 

"…" Serge replied. 

Kid giggled, "You are such a wordsmith, mate! I wuv u!" 

And all you now have to let out a sigh; it's your duty, remember? Good. Let's continue all of you. 

Serge, Norris, and Sprigg walked into the hydra marshes as Kid waved maniacally from the entrance. As they walked into the second little room, they noticed a warp hole. Norris knelt down next to it, as did Sprigg. 

"Serge, come here!" Norris called, in his ever so wonderful voice. 

"Yeah Serge, ignore Kid and get yer butt over here!" Sprigg shouted angrily. 

"…!!!" Serge replied, running over. At that minute, Serge tripped and all his key items flew everywhere. "!!!" Serge called as the astral amulet activated the wormhole, sucking in Norris and Sprigg. 

Kid ran in and watched in horror. Then, Serge proposed to her. Go 'Awwwwwwww.' All right, I'm happy. They got married on the SS. Zelbess and blew all their money on the roulette wheel. But anyway…. 

Norris fell onto the rocky cold ground in the dimensional vortex. He scratched up his cute little face, and all the women of the world started to cry. Sprigg landed about 5 feet away, but no one cared. Not one person at all. Period. 

Norris stood up, and scanned the area. He looked into the water and saw a mystical projection of Serge and Kid being happy and such forth. Ok, aw time again. I'm waiting……! Ok, good. 

Norris brushed off his cute little clothes and looked to Sprigg who was sitting on the ground looking exasperated. She stood up and glanced about. "I'm HOME!" Sprigg did a little happy dance. Norris continued to scan the area with his sight scope. 

"Hey look! There's my house!" Sprigg yelled, running up to a large tree. 

"House? I don't see a house. I see a tree," Norris responded, returning his sight scope to his carrying case. 

As Sprigg ran, a Total Chaos (you know those paper-thin monsters) attacked her! Now gasp! Good job, so now we can go on. Norris leaped into action, after putting on his dragoon gauntlets (which bring out the blue in his pretty eyes….). 

While Norris fought ferociously and Sprigg sat there like a lump (like in every other battle) Sprigg noticed Norris's cute butt. Not only was he saving her, he was mega ultra handsome! 'Cha CHING! You hit the jackpot!' Sprigg thought. 'Now it is time to use… the sauerkraut cookies!!!' 

How suspicious! As Norris stopped the evil fiend and looked damn good doing it, two clouds appeared in the freaky green sky. They looked like Serge and Kid! What a co-inky-dink. The two clouds enclosed on each other and hugged. Ain't that just kawaii? 

Sprigg then led Norris into her tree house. Norris sat on the floor and silently planned how to get out of this hellhole. Seeing the look on Norris' face, Sprigg decided to use her evil plan. 

"Hey kid, since we're gonna be stuck here for a while, want some grub?" Sprig offered him some of the sauerkraut cookies she had in her cabinet. What Norris didn't know is that they were PURE evil. Gasp! 

"Sorry Sprigg, but I am not hungry at the moment." Norris replied. Norris coughed a little due to the big pot of sauerkraut fermenting in the far left of the room. 

Sprigg was angered that Norris would not eat one of her evil cookies. "Try one Norris, it will help you concentrate!" 

"No no, I went out to lunch with Leena, Luccia, and Guile. I will have one later though, don't worry." Norris shot her one of his ever so lovable grins. God, isn't Norris just so damn adorable? 

:: Insert Random Kirge moment HERE:: 

The hours progressed, and Norris grew hungry. Remembering the prior offer of cookies, Norris looked over at Sprigg who was tending to her vat of slime. "Sprigg, may I please have one of those cookies please?" 

Sprigg laughed to herself, 'Sir Norris, you are now MINE! Huwah ha ha ha ha ha'. Sprigg opened her cabinet and handed Norris one of the evil sauerkraut cookies. Oh no! What tragedy will befall our beloved hero? 

Norris pops the cookie into his ever so alluring mouth. He swallows it despite the terrible taste out of his cute politeness. He mind went completely blank within several seconds and then was filled with the mind control spell within. 

"Norris my slave!" Sprigg called to him. 

"Yes-madam-Sprigg?" Norris responded, he eyes now completely black. The Norris we all know and love is gone… Before I, the narrator, get too emotional about this sad twist of events, I will continue. 

"Worship me." 

"Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you!" Norris repeated that for several minutes. 

"That is sufficient for now." Sprigg stopped him smugly. Norris gazed at her with his blank eyes, waiting for her next command. 

Just then, Serge, Kid, and Karsh burst out of the vat of sauerkraut. "…!" Serge looked triumphant and did some tricks with his swallow. Kid laughed like a moron. 

"Let's go." Karsh said, wanting to get back to tending to Lady Riddel's every need. Kid and Karsh went through back to the hydra marshes first. Serge gestured to Norris to go through. Norris didn't respond. 

"Norris! COME," Sprigg commanded. 

"Yes-madam-Sprigg-your-wish-is-my-command." Norris hopped into the vat and landed in the hydra marshes. The whole party was waiting there. Sprigg landed next. 

"Norris!" Sprigg called. 

"Yes-Sprigg-the-greatest-in-the-world?" Norris responded. 

"Massage my feet until Serge gets here." 

"My-pleasure-ma'am." Norris dropped to his knees and massaged Sprigg's scary sharp talon feet. 

"Why is he talking like Grobyc?" Van asked Zoah. Zoah shrugged. 

Serge fell into a pile of marsh scum and groaned to himself. He looked over to Norris and Sprigg and gave them a 'what is going on?' look. "Don't give me that look Serge." Sprigg retorted. 

Serge looked distressed. Sprigg laughed evilly. "Norris is now my slave! Thanks to Riddel's lessons I can make any man my slave!" 

"Riddel is evil like Sprigg?!" Van interrogated. 

"Yes I am. Why else do you think that Karsh, Zoah, Glenn, Dario, and the other world Norris worship me instead of Luccia or someone?! I use my spells to enchant them!" 

Serge and Van both looked shocked and backed away. Everyone laughed. "Norris!" 

"Yes-Sprigg-my-queen?" Norris responded in his deadpan slave voice. 

"Tie up Van and Serge! It's cookie time…"   


And thus ends the story of Sprigg and Norris' romance, which continues to this day. Let's take a quick glance at them now! 

"Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you! Madam-Sprigg-is-the-best! Her-fair-green-skin-sets-my-heart-ablaze! I-love-you!" 

And thus, I upload this Kirge-free solution to your fan fiction needs.   


The End.   
  


"SERGE! Look! Someone wrote a story about Sprigg!" Kid calls. 

"Oh great, stupid freelance fan fiction!" Serge grimaces. "You know what to do Kid, my dear." 

"Of course! It's time for the Kirge virus! Watch it infect the story! Heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" 

Serge starts to laugh as the Kirge virus infects the story. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! …Ha."   
  
  
  
  


~Fin   



End file.
